Lenona
2022-05-23 13:14:51 UTC
(I'm not about to register there; I waste too much time reading it as it is.)
I realize hardly anyone stops HERE anymore, but I'm not about to join Facebook either.
It seems as though every other day, women at Reddit complain that when they date online, trying to find a childfree man, they get contacted by a slew of men who have kids and lie about it. That is, the men call themselves "childfree" just because they don't have custody - or their children are grown. Or the men just want short-term relationships, so they think lying is no big deal. Or...they really want to get married again, but they're desperate to avoid any woman who already HAS kids. (That, unfortunately, makes sense - stepfamilies are highly vulnerable to divorce already, even when only one spouse has kids.)
Anyway, to my knowledge, no one has made the obvious suggestion. One the one hand, it's true that people under 25 just might change their minds, in one direction or the other. But, if you want a long-term relationship with someone who doesn't HAVE kids already, the thing to do is to start looking in your early 20s and firmly avoid anyone much older. (In the same vein, the older people are, the more likely they are to have an incurable STI.)
Of course, you shouldn't expect the relationship to last if you start looking TOO early - as in, age 18. But while it's often reasonable, economically speaking, not to marry until age 30, it seems to me a big mistake to postpone serious dating until then. You have to make up your mind EARLY about what you want out of life. It's like learning to play an instrument - the best performers all start very young.
I realize hardly anyone stops HERE anymore, but I'm not about to join Facebook either.
It seems as though every other day, women at Reddit complain that when they date online, trying to find a childfree man, they get contacted by a slew of men who have kids and lie about it. That is, the men call themselves "childfree" just because they don't have custody - or their children are grown. Or the men just want short-term relationships, so they think lying is no big deal. Or...they really want to get married again, but they're desperate to avoid any woman who already HAS kids. (That, unfortunately, makes sense - stepfamilies are highly vulnerable to divorce already, even when only one spouse has kids.)
Anyway, to my knowledge, no one has made the obvious suggestion. One the one hand, it's true that people under 25 just might change their minds, in one direction or the other. But, if you want a long-term relationship with someone who doesn't HAVE kids already, the thing to do is to start looking in your early 20s and firmly avoid anyone much older. (In the same vein, the older people are, the more likely they are to have an incurable STI.)
Of course, you shouldn't expect the relationship to last if you start looking TOO early - as in, age 18. But while it's often reasonable, economically speaking, not to marry until age 30, it seems to me a big mistake to postpone serious dating until then. You have to make up your mind EARLY about what you want out of life. It's like learning to play an instrument - the best performers all start very young.