Primula X
2006-05-27 14:28:11 UTC
http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/arizonaliving/articles/0527rest
aurant0527.html
Whining and dining Children behaving badly can sour restaurant visit
The Arizona Republic
May. 27, 2006 12:00 AM
Bring up the topic of children's behavior in restaurants and the
reaction is almost always the same.
"We were eating in this nice, quiet seafood restaurant when these two
kids . . . "
You can fill in the rest because you've likely experienced a similar
situation. It seems everyone has a story, and an opinion, about
children's misbehavior in restaurants, which likely holds a spot in the
nation's list of top 10 pet peeves.
As busy families eat out more, the problem is only going to become more
prevalent.
"It's chaos, complete chaos" in family dining spots, said Katie Hamati,
who is in the restaurant business and runs Table Graces, which teaches
mealtime manners to youngsters. "With fast-food places, or where they
give crayons to kids to keep them busy, we're not taking the time to
teach our children how to be well-behaved."
No one tracks childish misbehavior in restaurants, save for Santa Claus,
though more families are eating out than ever before. For the past three
years, Arizona is second in the nation in restaurant growth, and one of
the hottest areas is family dining, said Steve Chucri of the Arizona
Restaurant and Hospitality Association.
With both parents working out of the home, they have little time to
prepare meals. They increasingly depend on restaurants to provide
quality family time, Chucri said. For proof, arrive at any family-
friendly restaurant (Outback Steakhouse, Chili's, Applebee's) at 6 p.m.,
where you likely will wait up to 45 minutes for a table.
Misbehavior, Chucri said, is not a major issue in the restaurant
industry. However, it does resonate among restaurant customers.
"Everybody has a story," he said. "So do I. But when people get those
looks because of the way their kids are acting, nine times out of 10
they take corrective action and the issue is resolved."
Parents' responsibility
Not so fast, said Margaret Washington of Phoenix. Washington recently
attended a bar mitzvah and was appalled when a food fight erupted among
teens. Her shock had more to do with parental reaction than the candy
being hurled back and forth. Grown-ups, she said, did nothing.
"Nobody wants to be the bad guy, and we turn a blind eye," she said.
"But wake up, people. You have a responsibility as a parent and as an
adult to remind your children the differences between right and wrong
and how to respect the people who surround you in a public venue."
Hamati, agreed, saying that if you want to dish up blame, look to the
parents. A child sees Mom talking on the cellphone or Dad reading a
newspaper while at the table. The child notices if her parents talk with
food in their mouths, or wolf down their food because Junior's soccer
game starts in 30 minutes.
Children's natural impatience can compound the problem. As boredom sets
in over an hourlong meal, they may play with forks and spoons, or peer
over the booth at the couple sitting behind them, and parents will
remain silent.
"Moms and dads will pick their battles, and after a long day at work,
they may not be in the mood to correct their children," Hamati said. "Or
if the kids are tired and overextended, they probably shouldn't be there
in the first place."
A game plan
Families with young children who arrive at Ko'Sin, a modestly upscale
restaurant inside Sheraton Wild Horse Pass & Spa in Chandler, have no
idea their experience will follow a carefully crafted recipe honed over
time.
They are escorted to the families-only dining room, which comforts Mom
and Dad (they are among other parents) as well as those adult patrons
who dine in the other room, intent on a quiet evening.
When the family is seated, servers place a tray of fruit on the table,
each piece chosen for sweetness and color likely to appeal to
youngsters. As parents enjoy appetizers, children work on the main
course. When the parents' main course arrives, children are on dessert.
As soon as the kids' plates are cleared, they may pick a small toy from
the basket, such as a small stuffed bear or a finger puppet. Or they may
play with the Etch-a-Sketch they received when they sat down.
Even though dishes do not arrive simultaneously, everyone is happy, said
Damon Bolling, who oversees Ko'Sin.
"As long as the children are busy, there are few problems and everyone
has a positive experience," Bolling said.
Other restaurants are more direct in targeting children. Pizza places
featuring video games encourage kids to get out of their seats and are
not the places to teach your children about proper dining behavior, said
Rita Taylor-Teplitsky, a Scottsdale etiquette consultant who conducts
dozens of dining classes for children each year.
The most important thing to teach youngsters, she said, is patience.
While some restaurants ply children with coloring books and puzzles,
such practices only further encourage shorter attention spans, Taylor-
Teplitsky said. Same goes with allowing children to bring handheld video
games or personal music devices.
Meals, she said, should revolve around conversation.
"Why bring children to a restaurant if they're going to sit there
playing games or doing a crossword puzzle?" Taylor-Teplitsky said.
"Meals are the perfect time to talk to your children."
Restaurant reaction
Since this is not the perfect, Miss Manners-controlled world, kids
fidget. And talk loudly. And blow bubbles in their milk. And spend 10
minutes looking for whatever it is they dropped under the table.
Richard Fiero has seen it happen. The owner of Barrio Café in Phoenix
will try to seat children away from the general populace, but that's not
always possible in his cozy restaurant. So when children act up, it can
disrupt many of his customers.
If the withering glares from other guests don't persuade the parents to
act, Fiero will approach the table and ask if there is anything he can
do to help.
"I will not tell someone how to parent a child," he said. "That's not my
job. But if they want to move to another table, or get the food to go,
or whatever, I want to make everyone happy. It can be a real touchy
situation."
Fiero will intervene if he perceives a dangerous situation. Parents are
immediately asked to corral children who block the aisles, whether in or
out of their chairs. Servers balancing plates filled with hot food have
enough to worry about without having to dodge children, Fiero said.
"If there is a danger factor, it's up to me to mitigate that," he said.
"I'm concerned about a child's welfare above anything else."
The image of out-of-control children is tempered by a young man who
opened a book and read quietly during his family's 90-minute wait for a
table at Barrio. An impressed Fiero rewarded the boy with dessert, an
act that has become policy.
"If you punish for bad behavior, you should reward for good behavior,"
Fiero said. "If by giving away dessert can get kids to read while
waiting, it's well worth it."
Last resort: Just leave
There are times when nothing works. Children may be tired, cranky and
simply upset that Dad wanted to eat at Chez Sit Still rather than Mr.
Pizza's Jump 'N' Scream.
Thank goodness for the invention of the door.
Kristin Jarnagin has been wedged between that rock (crying child) and
hard place (disgruntled patrons). While waiting for food, she had to ask
servers to make it to go, as her 2-year-old daughter was in no mood to
dine.
Jarnagin does her best to be considerate of other diners, but if she's
at a family restaurant (as she often is), she expects diners to be
considerate of her daughter.
"If the restaurant offers coloring books and crayons at the front door,
regardless of the menu price, then children and parents should feel
confident that they'll avoid the glares of single diners," Jarnagin
said.
Bob Lynn knows children can be too loud or fidgety, but if they're at
his Chelsea's Kitchen in Phoenix, he would rather kids blow off steam in
the grassy area out front.
Lynn, founder and president of LGO Hospitality, which operates
Chelsea's, Postino Winecafe and La Grande Orange, said it's important
that restaurants appeal to kids as much as adults.
Chelsea's seems designed with families in mind. The C-shaped booths
encourage conversation, if not supervision. Servers deliver meals at a
fast pace, deterring impatience.
"We're not only geared to handle children, we see them as an important
part of our customer base," Lynn said.
There is no way to end children's misbehavior in restaurants any more
than there is to eliminate rude motorists or silence cellphones in
theaters.
But older, child-free diners can reduce their frustration with
reasonable expectations, Table Graces' Hamati said.
"If you go into a place where chairs and tables are bolted to the floor,
don't expect a nice, quiet meal," she said. "If there are candles and
white-linen tablecloths, I doubt there will be many, if any, children."
But there may be a guy talking loudly on a cellphone, since bad manners
are not limited to youngsters.
aurant0527.html
Whining and dining Children behaving badly can sour restaurant visit
The Arizona Republic
May. 27, 2006 12:00 AM
Bring up the topic of children's behavior in restaurants and the
reaction is almost always the same.
"We were eating in this nice, quiet seafood restaurant when these two
kids . . . "
You can fill in the rest because you've likely experienced a similar
situation. It seems everyone has a story, and an opinion, about
children's misbehavior in restaurants, which likely holds a spot in the
nation's list of top 10 pet peeves.
As busy families eat out more, the problem is only going to become more
prevalent.
"It's chaos, complete chaos" in family dining spots, said Katie Hamati,
who is in the restaurant business and runs Table Graces, which teaches
mealtime manners to youngsters. "With fast-food places, or where they
give crayons to kids to keep them busy, we're not taking the time to
teach our children how to be well-behaved."
No one tracks childish misbehavior in restaurants, save for Santa Claus,
though more families are eating out than ever before. For the past three
years, Arizona is second in the nation in restaurant growth, and one of
the hottest areas is family dining, said Steve Chucri of the Arizona
Restaurant and Hospitality Association.
With both parents working out of the home, they have little time to
prepare meals. They increasingly depend on restaurants to provide
quality family time, Chucri said. For proof, arrive at any family-
friendly restaurant (Outback Steakhouse, Chili's, Applebee's) at 6 p.m.,
where you likely will wait up to 45 minutes for a table.
Misbehavior, Chucri said, is not a major issue in the restaurant
industry. However, it does resonate among restaurant customers.
"Everybody has a story," he said. "So do I. But when people get those
looks because of the way their kids are acting, nine times out of 10
they take corrective action and the issue is resolved."
Parents' responsibility
Not so fast, said Margaret Washington of Phoenix. Washington recently
attended a bar mitzvah and was appalled when a food fight erupted among
teens. Her shock had more to do with parental reaction than the candy
being hurled back and forth. Grown-ups, she said, did nothing.
"Nobody wants to be the bad guy, and we turn a blind eye," she said.
"But wake up, people. You have a responsibility as a parent and as an
adult to remind your children the differences between right and wrong
and how to respect the people who surround you in a public venue."
Hamati, agreed, saying that if you want to dish up blame, look to the
parents. A child sees Mom talking on the cellphone or Dad reading a
newspaper while at the table. The child notices if her parents talk with
food in their mouths, or wolf down their food because Junior's soccer
game starts in 30 minutes.
Children's natural impatience can compound the problem. As boredom sets
in over an hourlong meal, they may play with forks and spoons, or peer
over the booth at the couple sitting behind them, and parents will
remain silent.
"Moms and dads will pick their battles, and after a long day at work,
they may not be in the mood to correct their children," Hamati said. "Or
if the kids are tired and overextended, they probably shouldn't be there
in the first place."
A game plan
Families with young children who arrive at Ko'Sin, a modestly upscale
restaurant inside Sheraton Wild Horse Pass & Spa in Chandler, have no
idea their experience will follow a carefully crafted recipe honed over
time.
They are escorted to the families-only dining room, which comforts Mom
and Dad (they are among other parents) as well as those adult patrons
who dine in the other room, intent on a quiet evening.
When the family is seated, servers place a tray of fruit on the table,
each piece chosen for sweetness and color likely to appeal to
youngsters. As parents enjoy appetizers, children work on the main
course. When the parents' main course arrives, children are on dessert.
As soon as the kids' plates are cleared, they may pick a small toy from
the basket, such as a small stuffed bear or a finger puppet. Or they may
play with the Etch-a-Sketch they received when they sat down.
Even though dishes do not arrive simultaneously, everyone is happy, said
Damon Bolling, who oversees Ko'Sin.
"As long as the children are busy, there are few problems and everyone
has a positive experience," Bolling said.
Other restaurants are more direct in targeting children. Pizza places
featuring video games encourage kids to get out of their seats and are
not the places to teach your children about proper dining behavior, said
Rita Taylor-Teplitsky, a Scottsdale etiquette consultant who conducts
dozens of dining classes for children each year.
The most important thing to teach youngsters, she said, is patience.
While some restaurants ply children with coloring books and puzzles,
such practices only further encourage shorter attention spans, Taylor-
Teplitsky said. Same goes with allowing children to bring handheld video
games or personal music devices.
Meals, she said, should revolve around conversation.
"Why bring children to a restaurant if they're going to sit there
playing games or doing a crossword puzzle?" Taylor-Teplitsky said.
"Meals are the perfect time to talk to your children."
Restaurant reaction
Since this is not the perfect, Miss Manners-controlled world, kids
fidget. And talk loudly. And blow bubbles in their milk. And spend 10
minutes looking for whatever it is they dropped under the table.
Richard Fiero has seen it happen. The owner of Barrio Café in Phoenix
will try to seat children away from the general populace, but that's not
always possible in his cozy restaurant. So when children act up, it can
disrupt many of his customers.
If the withering glares from other guests don't persuade the parents to
act, Fiero will approach the table and ask if there is anything he can
do to help.
"I will not tell someone how to parent a child," he said. "That's not my
job. But if they want to move to another table, or get the food to go,
or whatever, I want to make everyone happy. It can be a real touchy
situation."
Fiero will intervene if he perceives a dangerous situation. Parents are
immediately asked to corral children who block the aisles, whether in or
out of their chairs. Servers balancing plates filled with hot food have
enough to worry about without having to dodge children, Fiero said.
"If there is a danger factor, it's up to me to mitigate that," he said.
"I'm concerned about a child's welfare above anything else."
The image of out-of-control children is tempered by a young man who
opened a book and read quietly during his family's 90-minute wait for a
table at Barrio. An impressed Fiero rewarded the boy with dessert, an
act that has become policy.
"If you punish for bad behavior, you should reward for good behavior,"
Fiero said. "If by giving away dessert can get kids to read while
waiting, it's well worth it."
Last resort: Just leave
There are times when nothing works. Children may be tired, cranky and
simply upset that Dad wanted to eat at Chez Sit Still rather than Mr.
Pizza's Jump 'N' Scream.
Thank goodness for the invention of the door.
Kristin Jarnagin has been wedged between that rock (crying child) and
hard place (disgruntled patrons). While waiting for food, she had to ask
servers to make it to go, as her 2-year-old daughter was in no mood to
dine.
Jarnagin does her best to be considerate of other diners, but if she's
at a family restaurant (as she often is), she expects diners to be
considerate of her daughter.
"If the restaurant offers coloring books and crayons at the front door,
regardless of the menu price, then children and parents should feel
confident that they'll avoid the glares of single diners," Jarnagin
said.
Bob Lynn knows children can be too loud or fidgety, but if they're at
his Chelsea's Kitchen in Phoenix, he would rather kids blow off steam in
the grassy area out front.
Lynn, founder and president of LGO Hospitality, which operates
Chelsea's, Postino Winecafe and La Grande Orange, said it's important
that restaurants appeal to kids as much as adults.
Chelsea's seems designed with families in mind. The C-shaped booths
encourage conversation, if not supervision. Servers deliver meals at a
fast pace, deterring impatience.
"We're not only geared to handle children, we see them as an important
part of our customer base," Lynn said.
There is no way to end children's misbehavior in restaurants any more
than there is to eliminate rude motorists or silence cellphones in
theaters.
But older, child-free diners can reduce their frustration with
reasonable expectations, Table Graces' Hamati said.
"If you go into a place where chairs and tables are bolted to the floor,
don't expect a nice, quiet meal," she said. "If there are candles and
white-linen tablecloths, I doubt there will be many, if any, children."
But there may be a guy talking loudly on a cellphone, since bad manners
are not limited to youngsters.