OT: WTF is a "rehearsal dinner"???

[Panties on me gaelic haed!]

I've heard of this thing multiple times on the tube; a bunch of vapid silly
females going on and on about how their 'rehearsal dinner' must be perfect.

I have no idea what they are talking about. Why in the hell do you need to
rehearse your wedding, and much less have a 'dinner' afterwards?

Got married about 10 years ago (and am still happily married, thank you
very much), in a fairly non-traditional way USA-wise. About the only thing
we did in regards to getting married was to actually GET married. There
was no 'rehearsal' of any kind. We just kind of both showed up in the
Catholic church that my wife reserved (she's religious, I'm not, so the
church thing was for her), stood in front of the padre, and said "We do".

Of course, there was the standard after-party thing, which was pretty
enjoyable. But we didn't do a darn thing before the actual ceremony on our
wedding day. In fact, since we did the thing in a different country from
where we actually live (her hometown), I didn't even show up in-country
until the night before the ceremony took place. She went there and did the
organizational stuff a few days before, and actually told me "Don't worry
about it; just make sure you're here on X date.".

So, what in the heck is the purpose of a 'rehearsal'? From what I've seen,
it just appears to be an excuse to spend a lot of money, waste a lot of
time, and drag out the whole ceremony so the bridezilla can have multiple
days of "Look at me, bow down and worship, as I'm soooo special!!!".

[Morwen]

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
So, what in the heck is the purpose of a 'rehearsal'? From what I've seen,
it just appears to be an excuse to spend a lot of money, waste a lot of
time, and drag out the whole ceremony so the bridezilla can have multiple
days of "Look at me, bow down and worship, as I'm soooo special!!!".

That's about the size of it.

Morwen

[Caine]

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
I have no idea what they are talking about. Why in the hell do you
need to rehearse your wedding, and much less have a 'dinner'
afterwards?

I have no idear. We eloped and went with a Justice of the Peace.

Caine

[Kent]

Who are you, and why are you asking a wedding question to this newsgroup? I
suggest alt.wedding.

In a brief answer, I'll tell you that "rehearsing" the wedding is common
here in the South at least, just so everyone knows the order in which to
walk, where to stand, etc. Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the
reh dinner, which is usually just for those actually in the wedding
party/close family.


Kent

[Caine]

Post by Kent
Who are you, and why are you asking a wedding question to this
newsgroup? I suggest alt.wedding.

"Panties on me gaelic haed!" has been posting here for at least two years.
He just doesn't post a lot.

Caine

[Scheisster]

Post by Caine
"Panties on me gaelic haed!" has been posting here for at least two years.

And his nom de plume still makes me giggle :-P

[mroo philpott-smythe]

Post by Kent
Who are you, and why are you asking a wedding question to this newsgroup? I
suggest alt.wedding.

"panties" is a longtime poster who hasn't been posting much lately.

Post by Kent
In a brief answer, I'll tell you that "rehearsing" the wedding is common
here in the South at least, just so everyone knows the order in which to
walk, where to stand, etc. Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the
reh dinner, which is usually just for those actually in the wedding
party/close family.

Jeebus that's fucking pathetic. But, what would I know? I've never gone
in for any of that shit.

sq, "got my dyke boots on"

[Lee Ann]

On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 21:40:55 -0700, mroo philpott-smythe

Post by mroo philpott-smythe

Post by Kent
In a brief answer, I'll tell you that "rehearsing" the wedding is common
here in the South at least, just so everyone knows the order in which to
walk, where to stand, etc. Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the
reh dinner, which is usually just for those actually in the wedding
party/close family.

Jeebus that's fucking pathetic. But, what would I know? I've never gone
in for any of that shit.
sq, "got my dyke boots on"

Wow. Some of us actually wanted to make sure the participants all
knew what was expected the next day, enjoy spending time with our
relatives, and substantially paid for our own weddings. And not just
in the South, either.

Lee Ann
... had a fairly big wedding, likes sports, and is still - somehow,
amazingly - childfree.

[Beth Cole]

Post by Lee Ann
On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 21:40:55 -0700, mroo philpott-smythe

Post by mroo philpott-smythe

Post by Kent
In a brief answer, I'll tell you that "rehearsing" the wedding is common
here in the South at least, just so everyone knows the order in which to
walk, where to stand, etc. Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the
reh dinner, which is usually just for those actually in the wedding
party/close family.

Jeebus that's fucking pathetic. But, what would I know? I've never gone
in for any of that shit.
sq, "got my dyke boots on"

Wow. Some of us actually wanted to make sure the participants all
knew what was expected the next day, enjoy spending time with our
relatives, and substantially paid for our own weddings. And not just
in the South, either.
Lee Ann
... had a fairly big wedding, likes sports, and is still - somehow,
amazingly - childfree.

I agree with this psot.

Beth

[stePH]

Post by Beth Cole

Post by Lee Ann
Wow. Some of us actually wanted to make sure the participants all
knew what was expected the next day, enjoy spending time with our
relatives, and substantially paid for our own weddings. And not just
in the South, either.

I agree with this psot.

Me too.

[/aol]


stePH

[rhoda penmark]

Post by stePH

Post by Beth Cole

Post by Lee Ann
Wow. Some of us actually wanted to make sure the participants all
knew what was expected the next day, enjoy spending time with our
relatives, and substantially paid for our own weddings. And not just
in the South, either.

I agree with this psot.

Me too.
[/aol]
stePH

Another bride who agrees with this psot. We had family and friends
coming into town from all corners of the country; it only made sense
that we all gathered for dinner the night before the wedding. We had
nothing too fancy...just dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. In
retrospect, I am so glad we did this...DH and I were so busy and
frazzled the day of the wedding, we didn't get a chance to talk to
everyone. Thanks to the rehearsal dinner, we got to speak to
everybody and thank them for sharing in our special day.

Oh, and we paid for everything except for the rehearsal dinner (his
parents) and the food and beverages at the reception (my parents). We
paid for the clothes, the music, the programs, the flowers, the
transportation, the reception venue, the reception band, and a
gazillion little things that crop up ourselves.

[finnedone]

rhoda penmark wrote:
|| On Mon, 27 Sep 2004 06:35:05 -0700, stePH <***@earthlink.net>
|| wrote:
||
||| Beth Cole wrote:
|||
|||| Lee Ann wrote:
||||
|||||
||||| Wow. Some of us actually wanted to make sure the participants all
||||| knew what was expected the next day, enjoy spending time with our
||||| relatives, and substantially paid for our own weddings. And not
||||| just in the South, either.
||||
|||| I agree with this psot.
||||
|||
||| Me too.
|||
||| [/aol]
|||
|||
||| stePH
||
|| Another bride who agrees with this psot. We had family and friends
|| coming into town from all corners of the country; it only made sense
|| that we all gathered for dinner the night before the wedding. We had
|| nothing too fancy...just dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. In
|| retrospect, I am so glad we did this...DH and I were so busy and
|| frazzled the day of the wedding, we didn't get a chance to talk to
|| everyone. Thanks to the rehearsal dinner, we got to speak to
|| everybody and thank them for sharing in our special day.
||
|| Oh, and we paid for everything except for the rehearsal dinner (his
|| parents) and the food and beverages at the reception (my parents).
|| We paid for the clothes, the music, the programs, the flowers, the
|| transportation, the reception venue, the reception band, and a
|| gazillion little things that crop up ourselves.

Sounds like a colossal waste of money. With that money you could have made a
substantial down payment on a house or condo.

[Erosion]

On Tue, 28 Sep 2004 10:17:22 GMT, "finnedone"

Post by finnedone
|| Another bride who agrees with this psot. We had family and friends
|| coming into town from all corners of the country; it only made sense
|| that we all gathered for dinner the night before the wedding. We had
|| nothing too fancy...just dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. In
|| retrospect, I am so glad we did this...DH and I were so busy and
|| frazzled the day of the wedding, we didn't get a chance to talk to
|| everyone. Thanks to the rehearsal dinner, we got to speak to
|| everybody and thank them for sharing in our special day.
||
|| Oh, and we paid for everything except for the rehearsal dinner (his
|| parents) and the food and beverages at the reception (my parents).
|| We paid for the clothes, the music, the programs, the flowers, the
|| transportation, the reception venue, the reception band, and a
|| gazillion little things that crop up ourselves.
Sounds like a colossal waste of money. With that money you could have made a
substantial down payment on a house or condo.

Translation: "I have no interest in ever throwing a party for the
people I or my spouse love, so why should anyone else?"

I would have thought "Different strokes for different folks," was damn
near the official motto of this froup, or else we'd all be following a
non-CF script in our lives just like everyone else.

Weird. Just weird.

[stePH]

Post by Erosion

Post by finnedone
Sounds like a colossal waste of money. With that money you could have made a
substantial down payment on a house or condo.

Translation: "I have no interest in ever throwing a party for the
people I or my spouse love, so why should anyone else?"
I would have thought "Different strokes for different folks," was damn
near the official motto of this froup, or else we'd all be following a
non-CF script in our lives just like everyone else.
Weird. Just weird.

Don't you recognize Sharx when you see it?


stePH

[Erosion]

Post by stePH

Post by Erosion

Post by finnedone
Sounds like a colossal waste of money. With that money you could have made a
substantial down payment on a house or condo.

Translation: "I have no interest in ever throwing a party for the
people I or my spouse love, so why should anyone else?"
I would have thought "Different strokes for different folks," was damn
near the official motto of this froup, or else we'd all be following a
non-CF script in our lives just like everyone else.
Weird. Just weird.

Don't you recognize Sharx when you see it?

Oh, dear. That's embarrassing.

He's been in my killfile for so long, when he slipped out, I didn't
recognize him without the "LIEberal" keyword.

Well, at least that explains my strong instinct to killfile his latest
incarnation, without realizing who it was I was reacting so viscerally
to....

Post by stePH
stePH

Chastened,
Erosion

[Kent]

Post by Erosion

Post by stePH
Don't you recognize Sharx when you see it?

Oh, dear. That's embarrassing.
He's been in my killfile for so long, when he slipped out, I didn't
recognize him without the "LIEberal" keyword.
Well, at least that explains my strong instinct to killfile his latest
incarnation, without realizing who it was I was reacting so viscerally
to....

Here's a hint--he/it is the only one whose quoted text is marked by "pipes",
i.e.

||
|| ||
|| ||
|| s


Kent

[Rabbit]

Post by Kent
Here's a hint--he/it is the only one whose quoted text is marked by "pipes",
i.e.

There's an easier way. If the content is inane, chances are good.

Rabbit

[Veronique]

Post by Erosion

Post by stePH
Don't you recognize Sharx when you see it?

Oh, dear. That's embarrassing.
He's been in my killfile for so long, when he slipped out, I didn't
recognize him without the "LIEberal" keyword.

David ("Sharx") nearly always uses a play on shark or other
fish-related word. You can easily tell because he never trims posts
and adds single-line inanities, often trying to be lewd (and coming
off as pathetic) at the same time.

V.
--

[finnedone]

Veronique wrote:
|| ***@netscape.net (Erosion) wrote:
||
||| stePH <***@earthlink.net> wrote:
||
|||| Don't you recognize Sharx when you see it?
|||
||| Oh, dear. That's embarrassing.
|||
||| He's been in my killfile for so long, when he slipped out, I didn't
||| recognize him without the "LIEberal" keyword.
||
|| David ("Sharx") nearly always uses a play on shark or other
|| fish-related word. You can easily tell because he never trims posts
|| and adds single-line inanities, often trying to be lewd (and coming
|| off as pathetic) at the same time.
||

So what? I am STILL entitled to my opinions. You fellow cat lovers should
defend me better.


|| V.
|| --

[Veronique]

Post by finnedone
||
|||| Don't you recognize Sharx when you see it?
|||
||| Oh, dear. That's embarrassing.
|||
||| He's been in my killfile for so long, when he slipped out, I didn't
||| recognize him without the "LIEberal" keyword.
||
|| David ("Sharx") nearly always uses a play on shark or other
|| fish-related word. You can easily tell because he never trims posts
|| and adds single-line inanities, often trying to be lewd (and coming
|| off as pathetic) at the same time.
||
So what? I am STILL entitled to my opinions. You fellow cat lovers should
defend me better.

If you were posting about cats, perhaps I would.

V.
--
Veronique Chez Sheep

[stePH]

Post by finnedone
So what? I am STILL entitled to my opinions.

True, and we're entitled to ignore them.


stePH

[Kristy]

Post by Erosion
Translation: "I have no interest in ever throwing a party for the
people I or my spouse love, so why should anyone else?"
I would have thought "Different strokes for different folks," was damn
near the official motto of this froup, or else we'd all be following a
non-CF script in our lives just like everyone else.

*snort* I don't think so! Just check out any thread on religion,
politics, cellphone use, SUV driving, having a wedding, wearing makeup...

"Don't have kids, don't want 'em" is the only possible motto
contender... on any other topic, we seem perfectly happy to judge each
other relentlessly.

-Kristy

[Jason G]

Post by Erosion
Weird. Just weird.

What's weird is that Sharx is so desperately in need of attention that he is
constantly morphing his address to get out of killfiles.

[finnedone]

stePH wrote:
|| Beth Cole wrote:
||
||| Lee Ann wrote:
|||
||||
|||| Wow. Some of us actually wanted to make sure the participants all
|||| knew what was expected the next day, enjoy spending time with our
|||| relatives, and substantially paid for our own weddings. And not
|||| just in the South, either.
|||
||| I agree with this psot.
|||
||
|| Me too.

You sound like typical bridezillas.



||
|| [/aol]
||
||
|| stePH
|| --
|| "A lion will exert himself to the utmost, even when entering the
|| tiger's den to throw baby rabbits off a cliff!" -- Moroboshi Ataru

[REP]

Post by finnedone
||
|||
||||
|||| Wow. Some of us actually wanted to make sure the participants all
|||| knew what was expected the next day, enjoy spending time with our
|||| relatives, and substantially paid for our own weddings. And not
|||| just in the South, either.
|||
||| I agree with this psot.
|||
||
|| Me too.
You sound like typical bridezillas.

*Especially* stePH [snort].

Their money, their weddings, their business.

My brother's rehearsal dinner was a ton of fun.

[stePH]

Post by finnedone
You sound like typical bridezillas.

Suck on it, bitchfuck.


stePH

[finnedone]

stePH wrote:
|| finnedone wrote:
||
||| You sound like typical bridezillas.
||
|| Suck on it, bitchfuck.

That would be more YOUR specialty.

||
||
|| stePH
|| --
|| "A lion will exert himself to the utmost, even when entering the
|| tiger's den to throw baby rabbits off a cliff!" -- Moroboshi Ataru

[Pete]

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
So, what in the heck is the purpose of a 'rehearsal'? From what I've seen,
it just appears to be an excuse to spend a lot of money, waste a lot of
time, and drag out the whole ceremony so the bridezilla can have multiple
days of "Look at me, bow down and worship, as I'm soooo special!!!".

This is the correct motorcycle...Pete

[Woof Ridge]

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
She went there and did the
organizational stuff a few days before,

The rehearsal dinner comes after the rehearsal where you often do the
organizational stuff that you got out of doing. Find out where to sit,
where to stand, what not to do, and stuff. This helps nervous wedding
participants get a little more familiar with the ceremony.

Many rehearsal dinners include all of the out-of-town guests so they
have something to do the night before the wedding even if the guests
don't go to the rehearsal. It's a nice gesture.

Woof

[Veronique]

Post by Woof Ridge

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
She went there and did the
organizational stuff a few days before,

The rehearsal dinner comes after the rehearsal where you often do the
organizational stuff that you got out of doing. Find out where to sit,
where to stand, what not to do, and stuff. This helps nervous wedding
participants get a little more familiar with the ceremony.
Many rehearsal dinners include all of the out-of-town guests so they
have something to do the night before the wedding even if the guests
don't go to the rehearsal. It's a nice gesture.

One rehearsal was where I pinched the maid of honor quite hard, as she
was quite jealous of her sister the bride-to-be being the focus of
attention. A rehearsal pinch made the wedding itself go much more
smoothly.

And after the church rehearsal we all had a lovely dinner at a Thai
restaurant in San Francisco and stuffed ourselves silly.

I suppose if one is self-involved and obnoxious, there's no reason why
a rehearsal dinner won't be self-involved and obnoxious. But as you
say, Woof, it evolved as a chance for everyone to practice being in
the right place before the Big Day, plus food.

V.
--

[Rorqhual]

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
I've heard of this thing multiple times on the tube; a bunch of vapid silly
females going on and on about how their 'rehearsal dinner' must be perfect.
So, what in the heck is the purpose of a 'rehearsal'? From what I've seen,
it just appears to be an excuse to spend a lot of money, waste a lot of
time, and drag out the whole ceremony so the bridezilla can have multiple
days of "Look at me, bow down and worship, as I'm soooo special!!!".

I think you hit it there. Kydz seem to have their self uhsteem constantly
reinforced (graduation deremonies from kidergarten, fer crissakes. EVERY
member of a class graduation Magna Cum Laude [or whatever so nobody feels
left out. Teachers not allowed to fail a student regardless of how stupid
they might be. That bullshit about calling kydz who can't do something as
'differently abled' rather than 'inept' or 'crap at maths') that
*everything* in their lives has to be 'simply perfect'.

When you've been brought up being told by everyone you meet that you are
'spayshull', when you've received awards and plaudits and applause every
inch of the way, despite having achieved fuck all in your life (note I
didn't say 'encouragement' Encouragement seems to mean 'heap uncritical
praise on the little darling's head' these days, even though my
understanding is that encouragement is supposed to be an incitement to get
something achieved rather than a reward in itself), you will quite naturally
believe you really *are* special. After all, isn't that what you've been
tols all your life?

And with that comes a shallowness of purpose. I *have* watched 'Wedding
Story' (so shoot me), and have seen that the whole shebang is obsessed with
the upcoming 'event'. You never hear them talking about commitment or the
future. It's as though marriage begins and ends with the wedding itself.
Couples who will be living in a traler arranging weddings worthy of a Crown
Prince. Wouldn't the money be better spent setting up a home? Oddly, that
question never seems to get asked.

Sorry to ramble on (and in poorly formatted Lookout Distress too), but it
shows in other areas. In the UK, do you know which are the most heavily
applied for University and College courses? media bloody Studies and
performing fsckin Arts! And why? is there a shortage of studio producers
poncing around in green velvet jackets and yelling 'Can we have a *little*
more versimillitude please Gavin?'?

No, almost every student interviewed wanted to go into 'Tha Meedja' so that
they could be 'discovered' and get fabulously wealthy. I think it has to be
all tied up with the 'I'm SPAYSHULL! Why don't people NOTICE me?' attitude
that parents (and society) have instilled in these kids. Future Curer of
Cancer? I'm sorry, they'll all be too busy at 45 years old trying to learn
the latest dance moves and sharpening up their stage act to do any actual
*work*.

I think I'll stop now. Something just went 'pop' in my right hemisphere.

:o)
R <--- looking to a future where perhaps the most popular ADULT reading
won't be a bloody Harry Potter novel, but holding out little hope

[Marten Kemp]

One couple was offered USD$30k instead of a wedding extravaganza.

They refused.

The wedding cost more than that.

[Omixochitl]

Post by Rorqhual
I think you hit it there. Kydz seem to have their self uhsteem
constantly reinforced (graduation deremonies from kidergarten, fer
crissakes. EVERY member of a class graduation Magna Cum Laude [or
whatever so nobody feels left out. Teachers not allowed to fail a
student regardless of how stupid they might be. That bullshit about
calling kydz who can't do something as 'differently abled' rather than
'inept' or 'crap at maths') that *everything* in their lives has to be
'simply perfect'.
When you've been brought up being told by everyone you meet that you
are 'spayshull', when you've received awards and plaudits and applause
every inch of the way, despite having achieved fuck all in your life
(note I didn't say 'encouragement' Encouragement seems to mean 'heap
uncritical praise on the little darling's head' these days, even
though my understanding is that encouragement is supposed to be an
incitement to get something achieved rather than a reward in itself),
you will quite naturally believe you really *are* special. After all,
isn't that what you've been tols all your life?

Good points. Also, I heard that the opposite can even inspire
bridezillas too.

I mean, I celebrated a lot of milestones which meant something to me when
I grew up: birthday parties, getting my driver's license, graduating from
schools, earning my first paycheck, etc. If I get married and my
wedding's not perfect, no big deal. Now if I'd grown up where and when
all that stuff was absent or male-only, then I would've cared a lot more
about my wedding...

...because it would be the only personal celebration in my whole entire
life.

Maybe this sort of thing (to a lesser degree, of course - not "she can't
go to school" but "her graduation isn't important") helps explain why
there are more bridezillas than groomzillas?

[Stephen J. Rush]

Post by Omixochitl
I mean, I celebrated a lot of milestones which meant something to me when
I grew up: birthday parties, getting my driver's license, graduating from
schools, earning my first paycheck, etc. If I get married and my
wedding's not perfect, no big deal. Now if I'd grown up where and when
all that stuff was absent or male-only, then I would've cared a lot more
about my wedding...
...because it would be the only personal celebration in my whole entire
life.
Maybe this sort of thing (to a lesser degree, of course - not "she can't
go to school" but "her graduation isn't important") helps explain why
there are more bridezillas than groomzillas?

I suspect that the bridezilla phenomenon has more to do with the fact that
obsessing over the minutia of the wedding is a female tradition. The
bigger the production, the more the groom is regarded as a bit player, his
role pretty much limited to responding with variations on "Yes, dear"
while being told what to wear, where to stand and what to say.

Have a look at www.etiquettehell.com

[Kent]

Post by Stephen J. Rush
I suspect that the bridezilla phenomenon has more to do with the fact that
obsessing over the minutia of the wedding is a female tradition. The
bigger the production, the more the groom is regarded as a bit player, his
role pretty much limited to responding with variations on "Yes, dear"
while being told what to wear, where to stand and what to say.

Exactly. If there is ONE thing you heard said, over and over and over and
OVER, about a wedding, is "It's HER day!"
Little boys don't "play wedding" or hear "one day, you'll get married and
your wedding will be special" or pick out the colors. The registries are
still usually done in the bride's name, until very recently, wedding photos
in the newspaper only showed the bride (they still predominately do); and
the only wedding magazines you see are all focused on wedding dresses and
other bride-ish features--you won't find a magazine on "what tux to pick for
your groomsmen".

Omix said there are "more bridezillas than groomzillas", I'd pretty much say
that the latter category numbers almost zero. Omix, have you ever known or
heard of any "groomzillas" at all? It would be an intereting phenomenon, but
I've never heard of it. The wedding industry has LONG been "all about HER",
and I don't think it has anything to do with how successful she was in her
life up to that point; it is for the same (essentially misogynist) reason we
only have female debutantes or female pageants--prettying yourself up at
great spectacle has always been a female arena. Growing up to be a "good,
pretty wife" was supposed to be a woman's only goal in life (until the baby
factory got turned on, of course).


Kent

[Stephen J. Rush]

Post by Kent
Omix said there are "more bridezillas than groomzillas", I'd pretty much
say that the latter category numbers almost zero. Omix, have you ever
known or heard of any "groomzillas" at all? It would be an intereting
phenomenon, but I've never heard of it. The wedding industry has LONG
been "all about HER", and I don't think it has anything to do with how
successful she was in her life up to that point; it is for the same
(essentially misogynist) reason we only have female debutantes or female
pageants

Actually, there is a masculine form of "debutante": "debutant", accent on
the second syllable. I remember reading of it, but I've never seen the
word actually used.

BTW, www.etiquettehell.com has a category called "bridezillas and
groomonsters." The (fortunately rare) groomonster is usually a control
freak who doesn't really care that it's his wedding, it's just another
place to assert his authority.

[Cori]

Post by Kent
Exactly. If there is ONE thing you heard said, over and over and over and
OVER, about a wedding, is "It's HER day!"
Little boys don't "play wedding" or hear "one day, you'll get married and
your wedding will be special" or pick out the colors. The registries are
still usually done in the bride's name, until very recently, wedding photos
in the newspaper only showed the bride (they still predominately do); and
the only wedding magazines you see are all focused on wedding dresses and
other bride-ish features--you won't find a magazine on "what tux to pick for
your groomsmen".

This thing about the wedding announcement with only the brides picture
bothers me. (Did she marry herself?) I read the NY Times Sunday
wedding announcements for the gay couples. Whenever I see one of these
"just the bride" pictures she just looks like a, well, um, loser.
The picture seems to scream, look at me, I've caught myself a maynnn.

Cori, eloped...

[Rabbit]

Post by Cori
This thing about the wedding announcement with only the brides picture
bothers me. (Did she marry herself?)

Goodness. I can't say I've seen any of those ... ye gods.

Rabbit

[Kent]

Post by Rabbit

Post by Cori
This thing about the wedding announcement with only the brides picture
bothers me. (Did she marry herself?)

Goodness. I can't say I've seen any of those ... ye gods.

Hmmm? For as long as I remember "wedding pages" in the newspaper, it's been
like this (i.e., over 30 years). What do they do in your area?

Only within the past, oh, 5 years have any "couples photos" shown up, but
still, the bride-alone predominates. [gets today's Sunday paper] In my local
paper, there are 14 wedding announcements: 1 has no photo, 4 have the
couple, and 9 are bride only. Note that *engagement* photos usually do have
the couple, and have for as long as I recall (I first started even paying
attention to such pages when I was about 22, the age where my friends and
college acquaintaces were getting married) I guess that's the last time the
groom-to-be matters...once bridezilla gets that ring, IT'S ALL ABOUT HER :).

Kent

[Rabbit]

Post by Kent

Post by Rabbit

Post by Cori
This thing about the wedding announcement with only the brides picture
bothers me. (Did she marry herself?)

Goodness. I can't say I've seen any of those ... ye gods.

Hmmm? For as long as I remember "wedding pages" in the newspaper, it's been
like this (i.e., over 30 years). What do they do in your area?

Only one paper around here carries photos, and they don't really have a
"wedding page" -- they call it "Milestones", and it includes birthdays,
anniversaries, engagements and weddings. Every photo I've seen has the bride
and groom.

Rabbit

[Cori]

Post by Kent
Only within the past, oh, 5 years have any "couples photos" shown up, but
still, the bride-alone predominates. [gets today's Sunday paper] In my local
paper, there are 14 wedding announcements: 1 has no photo, 4 have the
couple, and 9 are bride only. Note that *engagement* photos usually do have
the couple, and have for as long as I recall (I first started even paying
attention to such pages when I was about 22, the age where my friends and
college acquaintaces were getting married) I guess that's the last time the
groom-to-be matters...once bridezilla gets that ring, IT'S ALL ABOUT HER :).
Kent

Just counted. 14 straight couples, 2 gay couples, and one picture of
just the bride. The couples photos predominates. Maybe that's why the
bride only photos look so strange to me.

Cori

But i just love seeing the gay couple announcements!

[dogfisher]

Cori wrote:
||| Only within the past, oh, 5 years have any "couples photos" shown
||| up, but still, the bride-alone predominates. [gets today's Sunday
||| paper] In my local paper, there are 14 wedding announcements: 1 has
||| no photo, 4 have the couple, and 9 are bride only. Note that
||| *engagement* photos usually do have the couple, and have for as
||| long as I recall (I first started even paying attention to such
||| pages when I was about 22, the age where my friends and college
||| acquaintaces were getting married) I guess that's the last time the
||| groom-to-be matters...once bridezilla gets that ring, IT'S ALL
||| ABOUT HER :).
|||
||| Kent
|||
|||
|||
||
|| Just counted. 14 straight couples, 2 gay couples, and one picture of
|| just the bride. The couples photos predominates. Maybe that's why
|| the bride only photos look so strange to me.
||
|| Cori
||
|| But i just love seeing the gay couple announcements!

PUKE!!! Why can't they just LIVE together, rather than INSIST on public
hoopla?

[Etaoin Shrdlu]

Post by Cori
The picture seems to scream, look at me, I've caught myself a maynnn.
Cori, eloped...

Why did my irony meter just peg?

Leslie

[Cori]

Post by Etaoin Shrdlu

Post by Cori
The picture seems to scream, look at me, I've caught myself a maynnn.
Cori, eloped...

Why did my irony meter just peg?
Leslie

Eloped ages ago. Felt no need to put an announcement in the paper.
(And how do you know that I didn't marry a woman? ;)

Cori

[dogfisher]

Cori wrote:
|| Etaoin Shrdlu wrote:
||
||| In article <E3z5d.243249$***@twister.nyroc.rr.com>,
||| Cori <***@noplace.gov> wrote:
|||
|||
|||| The picture seems to scream, look at me, I've caught myself a
|||| maynnn.
||||
|||| Cori, eloped...
|||
|||
||| Why did my irony meter just peg?
|||
||| Leslie
|||
|||
||
|| Eloped ages ago. Felt no need to put an announcement in the paper.
|| (And how do you know that I didn't marry a woman? ;)
||
|| Cori

You like eating at the "Y", eh?

[Omixochitl]

Post by Stephen J. Rush

Post by Omixochitl
I mean, I celebrated a lot of milestones which meant something to me
when I grew up: birthday parties, getting my driver's license,
graduating from schools, earning my first paycheck, etc. If I get
married and my wedding's not perfect, no big deal. Now if I'd grown
up where and when all that stuff was absent or male-only, then I
would've cared a lot more about my wedding...
...because it would be the only personal celebration in my whole
entire life.
Maybe this sort of thing (to a lesser degree, of course - not "she
can't go to school" but "her graduation isn't important") helps
explain why there are more bridezillas than groomzillas?

I suspect that the bridezilla phenomenon has more to do with the fact
that obsessing over the minutia of the wedding is a female tradition.

Yeah - and I was talking about how "obsessing over the minutia of the
wedding" became a female tradition in the first place.

Post by Stephen J. Rush
The bigger the production, the more the groom is regarded as a bit
player, his role pretty much limited to responding with variations on
"Yes, dear" while being told what to wear, where to stand and what to
say.
Have a look at www.etiquettehell.com

Already seen that site. :)

[J.W.T. Meakin]

In article <***@130.133.1.4>, omixochitl2002
@yahoo.com says...

Post by Omixochitl
I mean, I celebrated a lot of milestones which meant something to me when
I grew up: birthday parties, getting my driver's license, graduating from
schools, earning my first paycheck, etc. If I get married and my
wedding's not perfect, no big deal. Now if I'd grown up where and when
all that stuff was absent or male-only, then I would've cared a lot more
about my wedding...
...because it would be the only personal celebration in my whole entire
life.
Maybe this sort of thing (to a lesser degree, of course - not "she can't
go to school" but "her graduation isn't important") helps explain why
there are more bridezillas than groomzillas?

And maybe not. Bill.

[Jason G]

Post by Omixochitl
Maybe this sort of thing (to a lesser degree, of course - not "she can't
go to school" but "her graduation isn't important") helps explain why
there are more bridezillas than groomzillas?

Or perhaps it is just that women tend to be more obsessed with wedding crap than
guys are. I mean, how often do you hear "I've been dreaming about my wedding
since I was a little boy"?

Not everything is a patriarchal conspiracy.

[meb]

Post by Jason G

Post by Omixochitl
Maybe this sort of thing (to a lesser degree, of course - not "she can't
go to school" but "her graduation isn't important") helps explain why
there are more bridezillas than groomzillas?

Or perhaps it is just that women tend to be more obsessed with wedding crap than
guys are. I mean, how often do you hear "I've been dreaming about my wedding
since I was a little boy"?

Peer pressure between women to stay (or become) losers is incredible.

Post by Jason G
Not everything is a patriarchal conspiracy.

Yeah, whatever is leftover is a matriarchal conspiracy.

(Disaffected? Who, me?)

-Mb

[Omixochitl]

Post by Jason G

Post by Omixochitl
Maybe this sort of thing (to a lesser degree, of course - not "she
can't go to school" but "her graduation isn't important") helps
explain why there are more bridezillas than groomzillas?

Or perhaps it is just that women tend to be more obsessed with wedding
crap than guys are. I mean, how often do you hear "I've been dreaming
about my wedding since I was a little boy"?

"Maybe X happens because of Y - how often do you hear Z instead?"
"No, X happens - how often do you hear Z instead?"

Are you sure you're disagreeing with me? ;) I mean, I totally agree with
you that the trend exists!

Meanwhile, I'm *also* wondering "how did this trend start?" (you know,
"most weddings involve both a bride and a groom, so how did weddings get
labelled feminine in the first place?").

Post by Jason G
Not everything is a patriarchal conspiracy.

Hey, I never said it was a conspiracy! ;) The trend just seemed like a
side effect left over from days of yore.

[mroo philpott-smythe]

Post by Omixochitl

Post by Jason G

Post by Omixochitl
Maybe this sort of thing (to a lesser degree, of course - not "she
can't go to school" but "her graduation isn't important") helps
explain why there are more bridezillas than groomzillas?

I don't know. In cultures where women are minimally schooled and have
their marriages arranged for them, there are no bridezillas - it's more
like momzillas or (heaven forfend) mom'npopzillas.

Sometimes the bride doesn't get a say at all.

Post by Omixochitl

Post by Jason G
Or perhaps it is just that women tend to be more obsessed with wedding
crap than guys are. I mean, how often do you hear "I've been dreaming
about my wedding since I was a little boy"?

I can assure you that in cultures where marriages are forced upon women,
not that many women "dream about [their] weddings". Have nightmares, maybe.

Post by Omixochitl
Meanwhile, I'm *also* wondering "how did this trend start?" (you know,
"most weddings involve both a bride and a groom, so how did weddings get
labelled feminine in the first place?").

Maybe it's because women get stuck with the scut work of organizing
*any* event that involves more than just one man - who organized holiday
celebrations at your house, Mom? Or Dad? Most men/husbands/fathers could
not care less about the planning and execution of any social event,
much less a wedding.

I feel the same way. I'd rather eat a live toad than plan or hold a
party of any kind. People wanna come over, that's fine. I'm not cleaning
the house or bringing out the nice china. I'm happy to cook for people,
but that's more in the nature of doing something I enjoy. If they don't
like the chipped dishes, they can bring their own.

sq

[Omixochitl]

Post by mroo philpott-smythe

Post by Omixochitl

Post by Jason G

Post by Omixochitl
Maybe this sort of thing (to a lesser degree, of course - not "she
can't go to school" but "her graduation isn't important") helps
explain why there are more bridezillas than groomzillas?

I don't know. In cultures where women are minimally schooled and have
their marriages arranged for them, there are no bridezillas - it's
more like momzillas or (heaven forfend) mom'npopzillas.
Sometimes the bride doesn't get a say at all.

Good points. "To a lesser degree" may be an even more important
detail...

Post by mroo philpott-smythe

Post by Omixochitl

Post by Jason G
Or perhaps it is just that women tend to be more obsessed with
wedding crap than guys are. I mean, how often do you hear "I've been
dreaming about my wedding since I was a little boy"?

I can assure you that in cultures where marriages are forced upon
women, not that many women "dream about [their] weddings". Have
nightmares, maybe.

Though I wouldn't be surprised if some little girls dream about it after
they've seen the pretty dresses and before they're told how bloody and
painful their families want their wedding nights to be. By the time
they're actually women they're having nightmarish memories instead of
dreamy plans...

Post by mroo philpott-smythe

Post by Omixochitl
Meanwhile, I'm *also* wondering "how did this trend start?" (you
know, "most weddings involve both a bride and a groom, so how did
weddings get labelled feminine in the first place?").

Maybe it's because women get stuck with the scut work of organizing
*any* event that involves more than just one man - who organized
holiday celebrations at your house, Mom? Or Dad? Most
men/husbands/fathers could
not care less about the planning and execution of any social event,
much less a wedding.

Another good point.

Post by mroo philpott-smythe
I feel the same way. I'd rather eat a live toad than plan or hold a
party of any kind. People wanna come over, that's fine. I'm not
cleaning the house or bringing out the nice china. I'm happy to cook
for people, but that's more in the nature of doing something I enjoy.
If they don't like the chipped dishes, they can bring their own.

Yeah, I agree. However, if I was going to be half the center of
attention then I'd like some say in how it went (instead of having
someone else pick everything like the music, my dress, the food, etc.)

[mroo philpott-smythe]

[bridezillectomy]

Post by Omixochitl
Yeah, I agree. However, if I was going to be half the center of
attention then I'd like some say in how it went (instead of having
someone else pick everything like the music, my dress, the food, etc.)

Elope! %^)

sq

[Omixochitl]

Post by mroo philpott-smythe
[bridezillectomy]

Post by Omixochitl
Yeah, I agree. However, if I was going to be half the center of
attention then I'd like some say in how it went (instead of having
someone else pick everything like the music, my dress, the food, etc.)

Elope! %^)

Exactly! ;)

[Fountain of Filth]

"Rorqhual" <***@btinternet.com> wrote:

(lotsa snippage)

Post by Rorqhual
And with that comes a shallowness of purpose. I *have* watched 'Wedding
Story' (so shoot me), and have seen that the whole shebang is obsessed with
the upcoming 'event'. You never hear them talking about commitment or the
future. It's as though marriage begins and ends with the wedding itself.
Couples who will be living in a traler arranging weddings worthy of a Crown
Prince. Wouldn't the money be better spent setting up a home? Oddly, that
question never seems to get asked.

DH proposed to me unexpectedly on the 3rd day of a week-long vacation in
Maui. I started thinking about planning the wedding, and it seemed like
a big hassle. I've got a huge family, and would probably feel obligated
to invite a lot of them because my sister got married in another state
3+ years earlier, and not many people went to her wedding.

When DH said he didn't really want to plan a wedding, I asked myself
this question: Do I want a wedding, or do I want to be married? If I
wanted a wedding, I would have to plan most of it on my own, and subject
myself to the opinions of all the females in my family who want to live
vicariously through me.* I quickly realized that I wanted to be married
more than I wanted a wedding. We eloped less than 48 hours later.

We saved all the nightmarish planning and endless mishaps for buying a
house, 3 years later.


~Fountain of Filth

[mroo philpott-smythe]

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
I've heard of this thing multiple times on the tube; a bunch of vapid silly
females going on and on about how their 'rehearsal dinner' must be perfect.
I have no idea what they are talking about. Why in the hell do you need to
rehearse your wedding, and much less have a 'dinner' afterwards?
Got married about 10 years ago (and am still happily married, thank you
very much), in a fairly non-traditional way USA-wise.

Is there anything else to a marriage?

[various snippectomies, lookitup]

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
So, what in the heck is the purpose of a 'rehearsal'? From what I've seen,
it just appears to be an excuse to spend a lot of money, waste a lot of
time, and drag out the whole ceremony so the bridezilla can have multiple
days of "Look at me, bow down and worship, as I'm soooo special!!!".

Well, there you go. That's got to be what it's about.

sq, "fuck this marriage shit, and fuck these rehearsals with bells on"

[Rabbit]

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
I've heard of this thing multiple times on the tube; a bunch of vapid silly
females going on and on about how their 'rehearsal dinner' must be perfect.
I have no idea what they are talking about. Why in the hell do you need to
rehearse your wedding, and much less have a 'dinner' afterwards?

It's so you can spend more of your parents' money, and be the center of
attention for yet another day.

The latest thing, judging by the stores around here, is to outfit the
wedding party in ball caps labelled "Bride", "Groom", "Best Man", etc
(shudder).

Rabbit

[Erosion]

On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 20:44:35 -0500, "Panties on me gaelic haed!"

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
So, what in the heck is the purpose of a 'rehearsal'?

It's a dry run for an event that the two principals hope to do exactly
once in their life and remember forever. They'd like it to be perfect,
and they've never done it before, so they practice it once or twice.
If you're in theater, consider it a dress rehearsal. If you're a
craftsman, "Measure twice, cut once."

It's followed by a meal for the wedding party, close family, and
out-of-towners. At all the ones I've been to, the bride's family
didn't know the groom's family except through the bride and groom, so
it's a chance for the in-laws to get to know each other, especially
when the two families don't live in the same city. That eases some of
the tension later on when the new couple are trying to figure out
where to spend holidays; if each set of in-laws knows the other, it's
a bit less stressful when an invitation to a holiday dinner is
declined to accept an invitation with people one knows to be nice.

And, no, we didn't have a rehearsal before ours. Then again, we didn't
have any family or friends there, either. :-)

[C.F. Liberator]

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
I've heard of this thing multiple times on the tube; a bunch of vapid silly
females going on and on about how their 'rehearsal dinner' must be perfect.
I have no idea what they are talking about. Why in the hell do you need to
rehearse your wedding, and much less have a 'dinner' afterwards?
Got married about 10 years ago (and am still happily married, thank you
very much), in a fairly non-traditional way USA-wise. About the only thing
we did in regards to getting married was to actually GET married. There
was no 'rehearsal' of any kind. We just kind of both showed up in the
Catholic church that my wife reserved (she's religious, I'm not, so the
church thing was for her), stood in front of the padre, and said "We do".
Of course, there was the standard after-party thing, which was pretty
enjoyable. But we didn't do a darn thing before the actual ceremony on our
wedding day. In fact, since we did the thing in a different country from
where we actually live (her hometown), I didn't even show up in-country
until the night before the ceremony took place. She went there and did the
organizational stuff a few days before, and actually told me "Don't worry
about it; just make sure you're here on X date.".
So, what in the heck is the purpose of a 'rehearsal'? From what I've seen,
it just appears to be an excuse to spend a lot of money, waste a lot of
time, and drag out the whole ceremony so the bridezilla can have multiple
days of "Look at me, bow down and worship, as I'm soooo special!!!".

If I were to get married again, I'd hit buy two tickets to Las
Vegas...., you can figure out the rest.

C.F.

[J. Peter Mugaas]

On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 20:44:35 -0500, "Panties on me gaelic haed!"

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
I've heard of this thing multiple times on the tube; a bunch of vapid silly
females going on and on about how their 'rehearsal dinner' must be perfect.
I have no idea what they are talking about. Why in the hell do you need to
rehearse your wedding, and much less have a 'dinner' afterwards?

It gives people a chance to learn about their roles before the big
occasion (you don't want an usher putting a groom's relative on the
bride's side or vice-versa). In addition, it's an opportunity for
some ministers to explain the significance of certain parts of the
ceremony. That's important for formal or semi-formal weddings.

The dinner is also an important part of the wedding because that's
where both families can socialize with each other and some relatives
in the same family may not see each other for years (if ever) and the
wedding is often the only occasion when that happens particularly if
you have distant relatives. In addition, the rehearsal dinner can
sometimes be fun and I say that remising about my brother's wedding.

A wedding is not an option for some people. I guess it depends upon
the personality of the bride and groom.

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
Got married about 10 years ago (and am still happily married, thank you
very much), in a fairly non-traditional way USA-wise. About the only thing
we did in regards to getting married was to actually GET married. There
was no 'rehearsal' of any kind. We just kind of both showed up in the
Catholic church that my wife reserved (she's religious, I'm not, so the
church thing was for her), stood in front of the padre, and said "We do".

Actually, a common thing these days is to elope and that's always a
bad option.

Personally, I think if I ever were to get married, it would be at the
court-house with just the BMR but that's my opinion and who's to say
what a future partner might think.
Support the anti-Spam amendment - Join at http://www.cauce.org/
J. Peter Mugaas E-Mail: ***@mail.wvnet.edu
http://www.wvnet.edu/~oma00215/

[Marten Kemp]

J. Peter Mugaas wrote:
{snippage}

Post by J. Peter Mugaas
Actually, a common thing these days is to elope and that's always a
bad option.

{more snippage}

May I ask why you feel that way?

[Caine]

Post by Marten Kemp
{snippage}

Post by J. Peter Mugaas
Actually, a common thing these days is to elope and that's always a
bad option.

{more snippage}
May I ask why you feel that way?

I'd like to know, too. Shoot, we eloped 25 years ago. Didn't seem a bad
idea at the time, and it never turned into a bad thing, either.

Caine

[Silverwingrider]

Post by Marten Kemp
{snippage}

Post by J. Peter Mugaas
Actually, a common thing these days is to elope and that's always a
bad option.

{more snippage}
May I ask why you feel that way?

Ditto.

We didn't *exactly* elope, but when I stopped to think that my side of
the aisle would be more like strategic placement of figures on a
battleground: making sure feuding sides were not placed where they
would cross glances, I said "screw it." The wedding was Dh and myself,
w/ his brother and wife as witnesses, that's all.

[J. Peter Mugaas]

On Sat, 25 Sep 2004 23:06:20 GMT, Marten Kemp

Post by Marten Kemp
{snippage}

Post by J. Peter Mugaas
Actually, a common thing these days is to elope and that's always a
bad option.

{more snippage}
May I ask why you feel that way?

I mistyped, sorry. I meant to say that it's NOT always a bad option.

Financially, it's often much cheaper than a regular wedding.

Support the anti-Spam amendment - Join at http://www.cauce.org/
J. Peter Mugaas E-Mail: ***@mail.wvnet.edu
http://www.wvnet.edu/~oma00215/

[Omixochitl]

Post by Marten Kemp
{snippage}

Post by J. Peter Mugaas
Actually, a common thing these days is to elope and that's always a
bad option.

{more snippage}
May I ask why you feel that way?

I'm curious too. Maybe Peter's idea of what "elope" means isn't the same
as yours? For example, my mom wouldn't consider "at the court-house with
just the BMR" eloping at all because she thinks the term always refers to
hiding the marriage from one's parents. I would consider that pretty close
if not actually eloping because I've heard the term used so often to mean a
getting married without a big gathering.

[J. Peter Mugaas]

Post by Omixochitl

Post by Marten Kemp
{snippage}

Post by J. Peter Mugaas
Actually, a common thing these days is to elope and that's always a
bad option.

{more snippage}
May I ask why you feel that way?

I'm curious too.

I had mistyped and what I had meant was "that's not always a bad
option." My apologies for mistyping.

Post by Omixochitl
Maybe Peter's idea of what "elope" means isn't the same
as yours?

I usually think of as not having the full formal wedding. In fact,
any line there was between a formal wedding and elopement is getting
even more blurry than what it previously was. For me, it doesn't
matter if the parents know about the elopement or if they don't know.
Some people just don't want big weddings or it's impossible to have
one.

Given my own choice, I would take the BMR at the court house gladly
because too many people in one place can be nerve racking and I don't
consider myself a Christian at all (most formal weddings tend to have
Christian overtones and philosophies that I don't agree with).

Support the anti-Spam amendment - Join at http://www.cauce.org/
J. Peter Mugaas E-Mail: ***@mail.wvnet.edu
http://www.wvnet.edu/~oma00215/

[mroo philpott-smythe]

Post by J. Peter Mugaas
Given my own choice, I would take the BMR at the court house gladly
because too many people in one place can be nerve racking and I don't
consider myself a Christian at all (most formal weddings tend to have
Christian overtones and philosophies that I don't agree with).

Er, not to split hairs, but that would be "formal Christian weddings"
that have Christian overtones. I'm sure you'll find that formal Muslim
or Hindu weddings have absolutely no Christian overtones. Really.

sq

[Ron Sullivan]

... I'm sure you'll find that formal Muslim
or Hindu weddings have absolutely no Christian overtones. Really.

There's a young woman who posts over on the EHell board and is
planning her wedding a couple of years from now. Rather, her mother is
planning it, with as much traditional hoopla as possible. The poster
is being good-natured about it, as it's clear she'll get to live her
life her own way after the event, as she is already (and the fiance is
her own choice) and basically wants to please her family, with whom
she gets along well.

She lives in Baltimore, and a big contingent of her family lives in
the States too, so it's going to be well attended. She'd thought that
her location might spare her a few of the fripperies... but someone's
discovered that it's possible to rent an elephant in Baltimore.

Count your blessings _again_, my dear.

[rhoda penmark]

Post by Ron Sullivan
but someone's
discovered that it's possible to rent an elephant in Baltimore.
Count your blessings _again_, my dear.

I think someone has just topped my mother phoning the Vatican prior to
my wedding in an attempt to secure permission to hold an entire Mass
instead of an interfaith ceremony.

The Pope was busy that day, and no communion was served.

[mroo philpott-smythe]

Post by Ron Sullivan

... I'm sure you'll find that formal Muslim
or Hindu weddings have absolutely no Christian overtones. Really.

There's a young woman who posts over on the EHell board and is
planning her wedding a couple of years from now. Rather, her mother is
planning it, with as much traditional hoopla as possible. The poster
is being good-natured about it, as it's clear she'll get to live her
life her own way after the event, as she is already (and the fiance is
her own choice) and basically wants to please her family, with whom
she gets along well.
She lives in Baltimore, and a big contingent of her family lives in
the States too, so it's going to be well attended. She'd thought that
her location might spare her a few of the fripperies... but someone's
discovered that it's possible to rent an elephant in Baltimore.
Count your blessings _again_, my dear.

For some reason, my newsreader is showing only some posts, and only some
people's posts, but it sure is nice to see you back, Ron!

An elephant. Never mind. I really don't want to know.

sq

[stePH]

Post by mroo philpott-smythe

... She'd thought that
her location might spare her a few of the fripperies... but someone's
discovered that it's possible to rent an elephant in Baltimore.
Count your blessings _again_, my dear.

An elephant. Never mind. I really don't want to know.

Must be Republican.


stePH

[mroo philpott-smythe]

Post by Erosion
On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 20:44:35 -0500, "Panties on me gaelic haed!"

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
I've heard of this thing multiple times on the tube; a bunch of vapid silly
females going on and on about how their 'rehearsal dinner' must be perfect.
I have no idea what they are talking about. Why in the hell do you need to
rehearse your wedding, and much less have a 'dinner' afterwards?

It gives people a chance to learn about their roles before the big
occasion (you don't want an usher putting a groom's relative on the
bride's side or vice-versa). In addition, it's an opportunity for
some ministers to explain the significance of certain parts of the
ceremony. That's important for formal or semi-formal weddings.

I don't understand why someone would want to spend money on a formal or
semi-formal wedding. But then, I'm not a party person, and would be
utterly uncomfortable with a bunch of people around.

Post by Erosion
Actually, a common thing these days is to elope and that's always a
bad option.

Why? You save an awful lot of money, time, hassle and embarrassment
running off together ...

Post by Erosion
Personally, I think if I ever were to get married, it would be at the
court-house with just the BMR but that's my opinion and who's to say
what a future partner might think.

Yeah, well, I made sure I selected a partner who would *never* subject
me to crowds of people, not even if they were relatives. ;^)

Good luck!

sq

[dogfisher]

mroo philpott-smythe wrote:
|| J. Peter Mugaas wrote:
||
||| On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 20:44:35 -0500, "Panties on me gaelic haed!"
||| <***@ButVeryQuiet.org> wrote:
||
|||| I've heard of this thing multiple times on the tube; a bunch of
|||| vapid silly females going on and on about how their 'rehearsal
|||| dinner' must be perfect.
||
|||| I have no idea what they are talking about. Why in the hell do
|||| you need to rehearse your wedding, and much less have a 'dinner'
|||| afterwards?
||
||| It gives people a chance to learn about their roles before the big
||| occasion (you don't want an usher putting a groom's relative on the
||| bride's side or vice-versa). In addition, it's an opportunity for
||| some ministers to explain the significance of certain parts of the
||| ceremony. That's important for formal or semi-formal weddings.
||
||
|| I don't understand why someone would want to spend money on a formal
|| or semi-formal wedding. But then, I'm not a party person, and would
|| be utterly uncomfortable with a bunch of people around.

Exactly! There is probably an INVERSE correlation between the time and money
spent on the bloody ceremony and how long the marriage lasts.


||
||
||| Actually, a common thing these days is to elope and that's always a
||| bad option.
||
||
|| Why? You save an awful lot of money, time, hassle and embarrassment
|| running off together ...
||
||
||| Personally, I think if I ever were to get married, it would be at
||| the court-house with just the BMR but that's my opinion and who's
||| to say what a future partner might think.
||
||
|| Yeah, well, I made sure I selected a partner who would *never*
|| subject me to crowds of people, not even if they were relatives. ;^)
||
|| Good luck!
||
|| sq

[Terry Lomax]

Post by dogfisher
Exactly! There is probably an INVERSE correlation between the time and money
spent on the bloody ceremony and how long the marriage lasts.

Probably, but one thing is certain: SHARX keeps changing his handles.
The most similar poster in terms of changing handles is "rhoda
penmark", a known LIE-BRAWL DEMON-CAT. What does this say about SHARX
if his behavior matches that of the LIE-BRAWLS?

[stePH]

... SHARX keeps changing his handles.
The most similar poster in terms of changing handles is "rhoda
penmark", a known LIE-BRAWL DEMON-CAT.

Learn to spell, dude ... it's "DEMONrat" :)


stePH

[finnedone]

stePH wrote:
|| Terry Lomax wrote:
||
||| ... SHARX keeps changing his handles.
||| The most similar poster in terms of changing handles is "rhoda
||| penmark", a known LIE-BRAWL DEMON-CAT.
||
||
|| Learn to spell, dude ... it's "DEMONrat" :)

When it sinks its claws into your hand, for no apparent reason, it is a
demonCAT!!


||
||
|| stePH
|| --
|| "A lion will exert himself to the utmost, even when entering the
|| tiger's den to throw baby rabbits off a cliff!" -- Moroboshi Ataru

[Noelle]

Post by mroo philpott-smythe

Post by Erosion
On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 20:44:35 -0500, "Panties on me gaelic haed!"

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
I've heard of this thing multiple times on the tube; a bunch of vapid silly
females going on and on about how their 'rehearsal dinner' must be perfect.
I have no idea what they are talking about. Why in the hell do you need to
rehearse your wedding, and much less have a 'dinner' afterwards?

It gives people a chance to learn about their roles before the big
occasion (you don't want an usher putting a groom's relative on the
bride's side or vice-versa). In addition, it's an opportunity for
some ministers to explain the significance of certain parts of the
ceremony. That's important for formal or semi-formal weddings.

I don't understand why someone would want to spend money on a formal or
semi-formal wedding. But then, I'm not a party person, and would be
utterly uncomfortable with a bunch of people around.

My first wedding was a traditional American, Southern, Christian wedding,
with the white (okay, ivory) dress, veil, church, the whole deal. We had a
rehearsal breakfast rather than a dinner, because people were coming from
out of town to participate in the wedding, and it was more convenient that
way. It also gave everyone a chance to get acquainted before the big event.

I have to admit that I grew up expecting that one day I would get married
and that it would be in a traditional wedding ceremony. I'd seen the
pictures of my parents' wedding, with my mother so dressed up and glamorous,
and I even thought about wearing her wedding dress at my own wedding. My
older brother eloped when I was 12, and from that point on my dad
vociferously claimed that if eloping was good enough for my brother, it was
good enough for me. My mother said that since I was the only daughter, I was
going to have a church wedding if that was what I wanted.

I haven't announced this on the NG, but my divorce has been finalized. Jon
and I are getting married in January. He, too, has been married before, and
his first wife grew up with the same expectations that I did, so she
insisted on the white dress, the veil, the church wedding, and all. We
talked about having a wedding (although not in a church) so that our
families could attend, and in the end we decided that having done it that
way before, we'd rather spend the money on a nice vacation, so instead we
are getting married in a civil ceremony (anyone from the family can attend
if they want to drive 8 hours or so down to Galveston) and then going on a
cruise the next day.

--
Or is it just that the world unwraps itself to you, again, and again, as
soon as you are ready to see it anew?
--Gregory Maguire

[Kristy]

Post by Noelle
I haven't announced this on the NG, but my divorce has been finalized.
Jon and I are getting married in January.

Congratulations, Noelle! I wish you both much happiness.

-Kristy

[Caine]

Post by Noelle
Jon
and I are getting married in January.

Congrats to You & Jon. Where's your cruise destination?

Caine

[Noelle]

Post by Caine

Post by Noelle
Jon
and I are getting married in January.

Congrats to You & Jon. Where's your cruise destination?

Thanks, Caine and Kristy! We're going to Cozumel, Playa del Carmen and
Belize.

We're getting married on January 29, a date that is significant to me. My
parents adopted me on January 29, 1971. I was one year and two weeks old.
When I was growing up, we always called that my "anniversary," and as I got
older, I thought it would be nice to get married on that date.

On January 29, 1989, my grandmother passed away. It became even more
important to me to have a happy reason to remember that date. Shawn and I
had originally intended to get married on January 29, but family obligations
caused us to have to postpone until March, and then May.

When Jon and I realized that we were serious, I looked at the calendar for
2005 and realized that the 29th fell on a Saturday, so I took it as a sign.
:)

The cruise leaves on Jan. 30 (which is why we're getting married in
Galveston, because that's where the cruise departs from), and lasts a week.

--
Or is it just that the world unwraps itself to you, again, and again, as
soon as you are ready to see it anew?
--Gregory Maguire

[mroo philpott-smythe]

[majorectomy]

Post by Noelle
I haven't announced this on the NG, but my divorce has been finalized. Jon
and I are getting married in January.

Well, congratulations. It looks like a lot of our fellow posters have
long-lasting marriages, thus leading me to wonder if sprog are not a
major factor in the acrimonious divorces that seem to clog our courts.

Many happy years together for both of you.

sq

[stePH]

Post by mroo philpott-smythe
Well, congratulations. It looks like a lot of our fellow posters have
long-lasting marriages, thus leading me to wonder if sprog are not a
major factor in the acrimonious divorces that seem to clog our courts.

Ya think?


stePH

[mroo philpott-smythe]

Post by stePH

Post by mroo philpott-smythe
Well, congratulations. It looks like a lot of our fellow posters have
long-lasting marriages, thus leading me to wonder if sprog are not a
major factor in the acrimonious divorces that seem to clog our courts.

Ya think?

%^) It had kinda crossed my mind ...

sq

[J. Peter Mugaas]

[snip]
I haven't announced this on the NG, but my divorce has been finalized. Jon
and I are getting married in January. He, too, has been married before, and
his first wife grew up with the same expectations that I did, so she
insisted on the white dress, the veil, the church wedding, and all. We
talked about having a wedding (although not in a church) so that our
families could attend, and in the end we decided that having done it that
way before, we'd rather spend the money on a nice vacation, so instead we
are getting married in a civil ceremony (anyone from the family can attend
if they want to drive 8 hours or so down to Galveston) and then going on a
cruise the next day.

Congratulations. I wish you all the best.

Support the anti-Spam amendment - Join at http://www.cauce.org/
J. Peter Mugaas E-Mail: ***@mail.wvnet.edu
http://www.wvnet.edu/~oma00215/

[finnedone]

Noelle wrote:
|| "mroo philpott-smythe" <***@idiom.com> wrote in message
|| news:***@idiom.com...
||| J. Peter Mugaas wrote:
|||
|||| On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 20:44:35 -0500, "Panties on me gaelic haed!"
|||| <***@ButVeryQuiet.org> wrote:
|||
||||| I've heard of this thing multiple times on the tube; a bunch of
||||| vapid silly females going on and on about how their 'rehearsal
||||| dinner' must be perfect.
|||
||||| I have no idea what they are talking about. Why in the hell do
||||| you need to rehearse your wedding, and much less have a 'dinner'
||||| afterwards?
|||
|||| It gives people a chance to learn about their roles before the big
|||| occasion (you don't want an usher putting a groom's relative on the
|||| bride's side or vice-versa). In addition, it's an opportunity for
|||| some ministers to explain the significance of certain parts of the
|||| ceremony. That's important for formal or semi-formal weddings.
|||
|||
||| I don't understand why someone would want to spend money on a
||| formal or semi-formal wedding. But then, I'm not a party person,
||| and would be utterly uncomfortable with a bunch of people around.
||
|| My first wedding was a traditional American, Southern, Christian
|| wedding, with the white (okay, ivory) dress, veil, church, the whole
|| deal. We had a rehearsal breakfast rather than a dinner, because
|| people were coming from out of town to participate in the wedding,
|| and it was more convenient that way. It also gave everyone a chance
|| to get acquainted before the big event.
||
|| I have to admit that I grew up expecting that one day I would get
|| married and that it would be in a traditional wedding ceremony. I'd
|| seen the pictures of my parents' wedding, with my mother so dressed
|| up and glamorous, and I even thought about wearing her wedding dress
|| at my own wedding. My older brother eloped when I was 12, and from
|| that point on my dad vociferously claimed that if eloping was good
|| enough for my brother, it was good enough for me. My mother said
|| that since I was the only daughter, I was going to have a church
|| wedding if that was what I wanted.
||
|| I haven't announced this on the NG, but my divorce has been
|| finalized. Jon and I are getting married in January. He, too, has
|| been married before, and his first wife grew up with the same
|| expectations that I did, so she insisted on the white dress, the
|| veil, the church wedding, and all. We talked about having a wedding
|| (although not in a church) so that our families could attend, and in
|| the end we decided that having done it that way before, we'd rather
|| spend the money on a nice vacation, so instead we are getting
|| married in a civil ceremony (anyone from the family can attend if
|| they want to drive 8 hours or so down to Galveston) and then going
|| on a cruise the next day.

Excellent thinking! Wasting money on ceremonies is to be avoided.


||
|| --
|| Or is it just that the world unwraps itself to you, again, and
|| again, as soon as you are ready to see it anew?
|| --Gregory Maguire

[Noelle]

Post by finnedone
Excellent thinking! Wasting money on ceremonies is to be avoided.

(wishing SHARX could learn to trim, no matter what he's calling
himself)

I wouldn't call my first wedding a "waste" of money, really. But when
all was said and done, what we had was a very nice traditional wedding
that had very little to do with my or DH's personalities. It was a
show put on for the benefit of our families. I never intended back
then that I would someday be facing the choice again, but I often said
throughout the years that if I had it to do over again, I would choose
what WE wanted and not let our families ride over us. At 23, I wasn't
bold enough to make that stand.

What struck me about the first time around was how SHORT it was. So
much planning and time and effort, and the actual ceremony lasted less
than half an hour. Something that weddings have in common with
fireworks shows, I guess. :)

[rhoda penmark]

Post by Noelle

Post by finnedone
Excellent thinking! Wasting money on ceremonies is to be avoided.

(wishing SHARX could learn to trim, no matter what he's calling
himself)
I wouldn't call my first wedding a "waste" of money, really. But when
all was said and done, what we had was a very nice traditional wedding
that had very little to do with my or DH's personalities. It was a
show put on for the benefit of our families. I never intended back
then that I would someday be facing the choice again, but I often said
throughout the years that if I had it to do over again, I would choose
what WE wanted and not let our families ride over us. At 23, I wasn't
bold enough to make that stand.
What struck me about the first time around was how SHORT it was. So
much planning and time and effort, and the actual ceremony lasted less
than half an hour. Something that weddings have in common with
fireworks shows, I guess. :)

What she said. DH and I were married when we were 25 and neither of
us stood up to the parents and planned the wedding that WE wanted. My
mother was Catholic Momzilla throughout the entire affair. My mother
in law invited pretty much every resident of the New York-New
Jersey-Connecticut tri-state area. My father in law, a wedding
photographer, insisted on doing the photos for the wedding...the less
said about that, the better. My own father just seemed bemused the
whole time.

It was stressful and not a whole lotta fun. We were ready to leave
the reception ten minutes into it. I am told the food was delicious.
I wouldn't know, as I didn't have anything to eat but a sliver of
cake. The guests enjoyed the blues band we hired, but no one
danced...they enjoyed listening to the band. Momzilla and
Motherinlawzilla INSISTED on all of those old wedding traditions...the
garter, the bouquet toss, the whole shebang. It was mostly
embarrassing, especially the garter toss...97% of the men at the
wedding were partnered already, and the single guys were friends of my
then-teenaged brother, and not keen to participate.

SIGH. It was the best day of my life, but if I were to do it all over
again, it would be the polar opposite of what I did. No more than 30
people, all family and close friends, in a non-Catholic ceremony, most
likely on a tropical island such as Antigua. No band. No traditions
other than the ones meaningful to DH and me. No fuss, no hassle, no
muss. I'd probably keep the food the same...we had a very laid-back
luncheon buffet. No Momzillas.

[Veronique]

Post by mroo philpott-smythe

Post by Erosion
On Fri, 24 Sep 2004 20:44:35 -0500, "Panties on me gaelic haed!"

Post by Panties on me gaelic haed!
I've heard of this thing multiple times on the tube; a bunch of vapid silly
females going on and on about how their 'rehearsal dinner' must be perfect.
I have no idea what they are talking about. Why in the hell do you need to
rehearse your wedding, and much less have a 'dinner' afterwards?

It gives people a chance to learn about their roles before the big
occasion (you don't want an usher putting a groom's relative on the
bride's side or vice-versa). In addition, it's an opportunity for
some ministers to explain the significance of certain parts of the
ceremony. That's important for formal or semi-formal weddings.

I don't understand why someone would want to spend money on a formal or
semi-formal wedding. But then, I'm not a party person, and would be
utterly uncomfortable with a bunch of people around.

Because it's fun to dress up. And 'way fun to have an excuse to throw
a big party for all your friends.

It may not be your idea of fun, granted. But sometimes it's nice to
accentuate the solemnity of a particular occasion with appropriate
clothing and demeanor.

Being unmarried myself, I suspect I am more of the run-off-and-elope
type. But I can't begrudge someone else the type of wedding they want.
No skin off my nose.

V.
--

[No kids 4 you]

Post by Veronique
Because it's fun to dress up. And 'way fun to have an excuse to throw
a big party for all your friends.
It may not be your idea of fun, granted. But sometimes it's nice to
accentuate the solemnity of a particular occasion with appropriate
clothing and demeanor.
Being unmarried myself, I suspect I am more of the run-off-and-elope
type. But I can't begrudge someone else the type of wedding they want.
No skin off my nose.
V.

Hey, that's what I've been thinking. Fun to throw a big party and throw on a
really cool dress, not necessarily white gownish, but flash and beads.

[mroo philpott-smythe]

[everyoneelseectomy]

Post by Veronique

Post by mroo philpott-smythe
I don't understand why someone would want to spend money on a formal or
semi-formal wedding. But then, I'm not a party person, and would be
utterly uncomfortable with a bunch of people around.

Because it's fun to dress up. And 'way fun to have an excuse to throw
a big party for all your friends.

As you can tell from my vast shoe collection, that is not one of my
values for "fun". %^)

Post by Veronique
It may not be your idea of fun, granted. But sometimes it's nice to
accentuate the solemnity of a particular occasion with appropriate
clothing and demeanor.

Hmmm ... excellent point. Thanks for pointing it out without beating me
over the head with it.

Post by Veronique
Being unmarried myself, I suspect I am more of the run-off-and-elope
type. But I can't begrudge someone else the type of wedding they want.
No skin off my nose.

Touche!

sq, "still sore from the last application of the Bat of Clue"

[LW]

Post by Veronique

Post by mroo philpott-smythe
I don't understand why someone would want to spend money on a formal or
semi-formal wedding. But then, I'm not a party person, and would be
utterly uncomfortable with a bunch of people around.

Because it's fun to dress up. And 'way fun to have an excuse to throw
a big party for all your friends.

Which is exactly what a wedding should be. None of that "It's MY day!"
about it.

Oh, yeah, and if your whole extended family and all your friends are in
town together the night before, you'd be insane not to invite them all
to dinner.